Tag Archive for 'writing'

Droll Musings From an Early 20th Century British Gentleman on Txting Ur Peepz

British gentleman wearing a monocleI say, Wilfred, I do believe that it would be rather marvelous were I to have a telegraph machine that could fit in my pocket.

Why, if such a remarkable thing were to exist, I could send Aunt Agnes a telegram from anywhere in the world simply by retrieving the machine from my jacket, keying in the message, and sending it on its way via radio broadcast. Perhaps she might even carry a similar machine of her own with which to receive my telegrams wherever she might be, whether seated in her parlor, or out in the country on a velocipede.

In fact, while we’re imagining such splendid ideas, perhaps this telegraph machine could be constructed in the shape of miniature typewriter, which I could operate with my thumbs. Continue reading ‘Droll Musings From an Early 20th Century British Gentleman on Txting Ur Peepz’

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Holy Crap, MG Siegler Just Used Both An Em Dash AND A Semicolon Correctly!

MG Siegler grinning adorably
Oh. My. God.

You guys.

Look at this. Look at this article by MG Siegler.

Are you seeing this? Last two sentences of the first paragraph:

After all, they were getting great publicity for giving away something that was already free (GrandCentral — which is now known as Google Voice). We wondered if they wouldn’t pull the same stunt in the future. Well, it’s the future; and they are.

MG wrote that. He wrote that. Em dashes and semicolons were the very first things I ever passive-aggressively taught him. And now he just used them the way they’re supposed to be.

UPDATE: Well, technically, “and” doesn’t go after a semicolon, but I’ve already given MG a pass on beginning sentences with “and” as a stylistic quirk, so he can do it with semicolons too.

Also parentheticals. All three, in the same paragraph. Wow.

And look at this, right at the start of the next paragraph:

Again, this is actually a very nice thing they’re doing, but it’s also an ingenious way to promote what Google clearly considers to be one of its killer products: Google Voice.

Omigod he just did the same thing with a colon too eeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!

MG, you have no idea how proud I am of you; I never thought this day would come so fast. Just think, someday maybe you’ll even spot a place where my own punctuation compromises readability.

Now, all I have to make fun of about you is your Apple fanboyism and obsession with Twitter, making me just like everyone else in the world. Unless, of course, you so much as misplace the acute mark in the word “cliché” (which you have no excuse for because on your Mac it’s as simple as hitting option-E before typing the E). If you do that, I will not hesitate to waste four hours of my life ranting about it in order to get maybe two or three extra pageviews.

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MG Siegler Destroys the English Language — Episode 4

An anonymous MeeboMe tipster informed me that this happened:
The second Google Suggestion for "mg siegler" is "destroys the english language".

How inspiring. I’ve been wanting to do more of these. Thus, without further ado:

MG Siegler Destroys the English Language

Yesterday, MG published an article called “An iPhone Lover’s Take On The Nexus One“, because apparently there aren’t enough reviews which compare the Nexus One to the iPhone. Actually, there’s no shortage of them, just like how there’s no shortage of MG Siegler’s use of the phrase “no shortage of”. Speaking of MG Siegler’s predictable writing, let’s see what he’s predictably done wrong this time:
Continue reading ‘MG Siegler Destroys the English Language — Episode 4′

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Death to “In My Humble Opinion”

I think now is the time to lift our nation from the quicksand of racial injustice, IMHO. Just my $0.02. –@MartinLutherKing on Twitter

Why is it that we must tell everyone on the Internet that things are only our opinion?

Of course “I think” what I’m about to say. Why else would I be saying it? Of course it’s “in my opinion,” because I’m saying it. Anything said by anyone is, when you get down to it, inherently related to what they think, which is consequently their opinion. But now that they’ve been so kind as to emphasize that fact, it hurts their argument.

Here are two different statements a person can make:

A: I think that jumping off the George Washington Bridge can cause severe bodily harm. That could be fatal, in my opinion.

B: Nobody can get hurt from jumping off the George Washington Bridge. It’s actually very healthy and promotes long-life.

Now, assuming you didn’t know anything about the effects of jumping off a bridge, which of these two arguments would be more convincing to you? At first glance, without Wikipediing anything? Most of you will say statement B.

Adding language like, “I think” or “In my opinion” (or IMO or IMHO) to your arguments weakens them. You will sound less sure of yourself, or at the very least like you don’t care as much. This applies to actual speech as well as online discussion.

Some might argue that such disclaimers are common courtesy, but to the audience you’re addressing, they’re common sense. It’s not impolite to omit needless words, and doing so makes the remaining words stronger.

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MG Siegler Destroys the English Language – Episode 3

MG Siegler Destroys the Enlgish Language

Today on MG Siegler Destroys the English Language, MG seems to be having a better day in terms of competence. But in “The Mac Versus PC Debate Has Never Been Clearer“, he proves once again that he has no idea what an em dash is supposed to do. Oh, and some other things.

The point MG makes in the article is a great one: the Mac vs. PC debate is very much like a Porsche vs. Camry comparison. But that doesn’t make his writing any less aggravating to read.
Continue reading ‘MG Siegler Destroys the English Language – Episode 3′

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