I say, Wilfred, I do believe that it would be rather marvelous were I to have a telegraph machine that could fit in my pocket.
Why, if such a remarkable thing were to exist, I could send Aunt Agnes a telegram from anywhere in the world simply by retrieving the machine from my jacket, keying in the message, and sending it on its way via radio broadcast. Perhaps she might even carry a similar machine of her own with which to receive my telegrams wherever she might be, whether seated in her parlor, or out in the country on a velocipede.
In fact, while we’re imagining such splendid ideas, perhaps this telegraph machine could be constructed in the shape of miniature typewriter, which I could operate with my thumbs. After all, this Morse code business is frightfully difficult to familiarize oneself with, and is furthermore rather slow, even once one has mastered it. I’m quite sure many gentlemen have already mused about composing and subsequently transmitting a telegram using a typewriter, so, Wilfred, just imagine, if you will, combining such a fantasy with mine of a miniature, pocket-sized telegraph.
Now that I’m considering it, the aforementioned difficulty with Morse code certainly extends to the interpretation of it. Those tones of varying length are endearingly droll, but they’re quite an ordeal to properly understand. Perhaps this miniature telegraph machine could interpret the Morse code all by itself, and write out the letters for me to read. Oh, but that might use an exorbitant amount of stationery over time. Hmm…eureka, Wilfred, I’ve got it! Perhaps a system could be devised to produce the letters with light, much in the same way those Lumière fellows from France display moving pictures of trains! I say, if such a machine could project letters onto a small portion of itself, the Morse code problem would be solved entirely!
Why, Wilfred, I reckon that before the passing of a century, some extraordinarily clever gentleman shall create such a machine! Of course, I’d surmise he might attempt to construct a radio-broadcasting telephone first; admittedly, the transmission of voice is quite a bit more impressive than doing the same with writing. By Jove, I do hope that he’d apply the resulting knowledge to building a mobile telegraph as well! There are several situations in which I would imagine the instant transmission of a short telegram to another person would be far more convenient than striking up a vocal conversation. But I do suppose that the capacity to either send a telegram or converse on the telephone from one single machine no larger than a pocketwatch would be a magnificent thing indeed. Perhaps it could even have a pocketwatch built into it, thus eliminating the need for one to carry multiple pieces of machinery to perform different tasks.
I say, Wilfred, such a machine would be rather sensational. Alas, it remains but a fanciful notion. Oh, good heavens; I’ve dropped my monocle in my tea.
